Friday, May 12, 2017

The last breath

I realized after telling some dear friends about Cicily's last day on earth, that I never shared it here.  It was the kind of day Cicily loved.  We went over to her Grandma DeEtte and Grandpa Courtney's house (We put ours up on the market to sell that day, I know worst timing ever, but things have just fallen into place even in the midst of the worst timing ever.)  Cousins were in town and Grandpa spent a couple hours being the tickle monster and making the house ring with little laughter because he knew Cicily loved it.  And it kept the mood nice and light and loving, something we all appreciated.  In the early afternoon I asked Chris to help me take Cicily upstairs to hang out in Grandma and Grandpa's bedroom where we could have more privacy as her breaths were more and more shallow and less and less frequent (not that a breath every 10-15 seconds is frequent).  In the next few hours, Cicily got to spend time holding her best cousin Lily's hand, listening to Maya practice a history presentation, and snuggling with family.  After spending an entire week at home, it was just the kind of idyllic day Cicily loved.  When it was dinnertime Chris went downstairs to help Maya and Sophie get dinner with everyone.  Grandma listened to Cicily's heart (grandmas were the breath counters all week :) ) and could barely hear it.  They were able to have a sweet moment and then Grandma went to get some food for me.  (What a beautiful thing to have a grandma who is caring for her daughter who is caring for her daughter.)  After Grandma left, Cicily didn't really breath for a while.  I ran to ask Chris to come upstairs.  He came and I looked at him and we both cried and hugged Cis.  Then she took a big breath and we had to laugh at her little joke.  But, we knew it was time and Chris went to ask Maya and Sophie to come upstairs.   Fortunately they were very obedient and hurried upstairs.  They were able to say bye to their Cis and then she took one more breath.
For the next several minutes we hugged and kissed our Cicily's dear body and cried (and yes in some cases, even farted) together.  Then we invited all the cousins and aunts and uncles and Grandma Sue and Grandpa Norm (who's had the BEST perspective on having his granddaughter die on his birthday!) and nurse Tamara to come in and love and hug and cry.  It was heartwrenching, and grief filled and sad, but also full of love and concern and charity.


Danielle said...

Janalyn, I've been lurking on your blog for a long time. I never got to meet Cicily in person, but I feel like I know her a little bit thanks to all you have shared. Her story and her life are inspiring and touching. Thank you for sharing her story.

Danielle Pitts Overbay

Kristine said...

Thank you for sharing that special time with me and my family! 💕

Nammie said...

I am delighted to share my birthday with Cicily's graduation day . . . it will make that day so much sweeter for me!!

Grandpa Norm

Cheryl said...

Thank you so much for sharing your sweet daughter's life with all of us! I babysat for Norm and Sue when their kids were all little. They were and still are one of my very favorite families of all time! They are so full of love and kindness and faith. I wanted to be just like them when I grew up.
All our love and prayers to you and your family and this very difficult time❤️